Energy Drunk

Hiccoughed immediately. And yes, that's how it's spelt. And yes, that's how spelt is spelt.

I think the hiccough was unrelated: perhaps just an unexpected new bodily experience.. just like this drink, wahey! It's weirdly tasty - and I do mean weirdly because it's the first drink I've seen that has no promotion of flavour. Like I think you're literally just tasting the truly insane concoction of chemicals, sweetener and perhaps a hint of the green tea extract. Honestly it's making me question why people consume energy drinks? Obviously back int' day we were all here for the caffeine. No time to make a coffee? Grab a can of fizzy caffeine juice! But then people created canned iced coffee drinks so they needed to offer more. Taurine, guarana, vitamins, amino acids, electrolytes, magnesium, potassium, honestly it goes on and on. The competition has spiralled out of control now to the point I'm drinking a tonic - literally a medicine - without calories or even flavour.

Why are we even here? Why consume anything. The ultimate insult is its colourful grenade brand and logo. Just an exploding grab bag of curalls, curing all over yer face. And yet, it tastes kinda good. Godamnit.