Energy Drunk

A deeply depressing excuse of a product.

Well this is soulless. The only hope for this drink is that it might taste of cherries and, it doesn't really. I mean, you take a sip and think "Wow that tastes of cherries" and then you realise no.. it taste of Cherry Drops. The unnatural flavour of cherries. And moreover, swilling it around for dissection in my sore, ulcerated mouth, the main taste is actually that of cranberries - specifically the bitter aftertaste - the ghost of a cranberry - with sweetener on top. It truly brings me to wonder why I do this. Most of these stupid drinks are a pick n' mix of flavourings and sweeteners failing to emulate any of nature's creations. They're an unholy abhorrence to the palate and a blight on the earth. Why do I keep doing this to myelf? No one reads it. I could write anything here and it wouldn't matter.

Hold the newsreader's nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.

The design is horrendous obviously, just pink USA slop with the picture of some boxing dude. No doubt the guy who coined the phrase but who cares I'm not even looking it up. A deeply depressing excuse of a product.